Unlovable.

Befriended by many.
Avoided by some.
Loved by none.

This is such a recurring theme in relationships for me. Of all kinds, really.

I don't mean to bring you down, or let you down, but if you're going to be around me, I'm just letting you know that it's going to happen at one point. You're always going to find something to use against me and you're bound to get frustrated with me at one point. It's always the same deal. I don't see it changing.

One thing that is bound to disappoint a lot of people is my success. Or lack thereof.

I have never graduated from a single thing in life. Nothing meaningful. And I honestly and seriously doubt I'll ever graduate from anything ever in my life. This actually pisses off a lot of people. But honestly... some people are just not meant to do certain things. It happens.

I also have no direction in life. I don't know what I'm good at, I don't know what I want to do with my life, and I don't know what I could succeed at. It's more rare, but that happens, too, and you're going to have to deal with it from me.

I'm also very much not a looker and never will be. I'm short, I'm fat, I have scars and have tattoos. I also have horrible skin tones, lol. I mean... some places of skin haven't seen daylight since I was 5. Some parts look ghosty while other parts show my natural birth colour. I AM ugly. I know I am.

So bearing all of that in mind... it makes sense why no one would want to love me. I've got nothing to offer. No drive, no stability, no arm candy. Why in the Hell would anyone want to be with me?

I don't know... but I know many more reasons why people wouldn't.

Do you SERIOUSLY wonder why I just want to give up?

Nothing can save me now. I haven't changed anyone's life. I haven't saved a life. I haven't made a difference in the world. I've done nothing of great value. And I probably, most likely, never will.

Can't it just be the end?