Pussy Control (read on to know)

So... I met an interesting man this weekend. And he was very stupid.

He had a very clear idea of how a woman should look, act, and be like in general.

He had nothing but "pointers" to share with me, and it's a great surprise that I didn't punch the fucking shit out of his face for it, too. Did he EVER make me mad!

He had stuff to say about the way I generally was. I'm a tomboy, deep down. You can't change that. There's things I will and won't do. But what really irked me was what he had to say about physical appearance. I didn't even give him time to tell me what size and height to be, or to talk about my shoes, which is what he started on when I left him, but read on for the idea of what our conversation was about.

His first thing was "oh... you have short hair. Grow it out. No woman is attractive with hair shorter than her shoulders." Like... are you fucking kidding me? I look hideous with medium to long hair, and as a good example, look at Rihanna. She looked like she was 12 with long hair. It didn't look right. Now that it's short, she's a hot rod! DUH!

So I shrugged it off. Next was "do you ever wear skirts?" The answer: Hell no. "Oh, well women should wear them as often as possible. It is the uniform of woman." Not all women like them, not all women look good in them, and not all women are comfortable in them. Not to mention I grew up as a tomboy, which was mentioned to him with the whole haircut thing. But whatever.

Next was "So what's the deal with your nails?" Ummm... I have small hands... so my nails are small? "Grow them out and paint them! Short and crooked nails are disgusting on a woman! Especially unpainted!" Seriously, buddy? Are you SERIOUSLY trying to get your head chopped off? I do paint my nails... rare, but it happens. And yes... it's often in black but I've done the blood red and the candy apple. Fuck you. But let's move on...

He then said "Are you looking to have a good enough paying job to remove those tattoos?" Ummm... NO! HELL FUCKING NO! You do NOT mess with my tattoos! "Well... if not, you should stop at what you have. Women are not to have tattoos. They are disgusting and meant for prisoners, sailors, and bikers." ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME, DUDE?

Oh... then of course along those lines, he had to bring up PIERCINGS! "You do have your ears pierced, right?" No, I just got stabbed unwillingly when I was 3 months old or so. OF FUCKING COURSE I DO. "Well you should wear earrings, then. Very feminine. Real women wear nice jewelery in their ears. And not all those crazy ones all over." Oh, you're fucking messing with fire from the start and ready to be fucking BURNED, bro. "I guess the nose piercing thing is okay, but you need to take out that hoop. It's ugly. Women should only wear a diamond stud if they're going to pierce that at all." HOLY FUCK. BACK THE FUCK OFF DUDE AND LEAVE. (But no... he goes on...)

"Why would a woman ruin her face and skin with piercings and tattoos? It's hideous!" My answer: I want 13 in all... and each one above the neck. And about 24 tattoos, some large scale.

So he had the audacity to say: "You're never going to be a sexy woman if you keep up all these stupid attitudes and don't change yourself for men."

WHAT?!

I left with that.

Are you fucking kidding me? Changing MYSELF to please a fucking MAN? I don't be thinking so. It's bad enough that women try to stay feminine because of other women, but to do it just to please a man?! You have GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!

And I've seen it. A girl refused to cut her hair the length she REALLY wanted, because her boyfriend supposedly hated change and liked long hair. Well, dumbass... If your boyfriend really loved you for you, he wouldn't care what you did to your hair, so long as you were happy with it, and if he were to make a big deal, you know he doesn't actually want you.

Then there's the whole clothing thing. If you're dressing to please a man, you are cowardly and stupid. Do it for yourself. "Oh but I feel great if he likes it!" You're a fucking DEPENDENT bitch if you're thinking of it that way!

What is WRONG with these people?!

Seriously... I've stopped doing things to please other people. And it's working out pretty fucking great. I'm very vocal about it, too. I used to dress to please others, do my hair a certain way, speak a certain way, act a certain way... Just for others! Why? I wanted to be accepted.

Well fuck the dog, it doesn't work.

If you want to do something, do it for you. If someone around you isn't going to like it, you didn't fucking need them, anyways. It's as simple as that! I stopped doing things to please others. Now I've got a few tattoos, a nose hoop, a shaggy mohawk that I cut myself, and a fashion sense that's completely my own. And I'm happy with it. I'm very okay with what I see in the mirror. I could be happier with losing a bit of weight, but that's only a personal thing. If it was to please others, I'd be trying to kill myself getting to just even a size 12, don't get me started on smaller! I don't want to be that small. I know I would look horrible. So my idea is not to please you or to get a man, it's to get happy with myself.

If I did the "norm" of a female, I'd surely be attached by now. But you know what? I'd be fucking dependent and miserable. COMPLETELY miserable. I know, because I've been there.

But you know what? Better things that have a more lasting happy effect have been happening since I've given up trying to please people. That's right. Just being true to me has made things BETTER. Unbelievable, right?

I have friends who get excited for me, as I do for them, I have doors opening, I have events to attend, I have people to talk to, I have things to do, and I have a life to live and it's all my own. And I have people who LOVE that about me.

No one else's opinion matters at the end of the day.

If you're going to find something meaningful in your life, you've gotta start with yourself.

I have, and I'm going places. I've just gotta decide where it is I truly want to go.

I even dropped out of school once again. On my own terms. If I was trying to please everyone else, I'd still be in there. Miserable as fuck, doing work I hate and not having any reason behind except for that "it'll make everyone else happy" when the truth is that it won't. They'll just expect more and more and even fucking more. I'm not out of school to please anyone but myself. I'm on a quest for a personal reason to go back. If I never find a reason for school, good for me. Everyone else will always have one to share, but that's their own. Not everyone needs a shiny piece of paper to dictate where they're headed in life. And my feeling is that I don't.

So the moral of all of this is... You're at your sexiest being true to yourself, so be yourself.

Like Prince said... using different wording:
"And the moral of this mothafucka is... : Ladies, make 'em act like dey know.
You are, was, an' always will be... Pussy Control."

Search up that song. Flat out real.

Adios for now.