Rockstar Pep Talk

Not much to add, sadly.

You see... I'm back into depression again. And the worst part, no one around me actually understands what it's like. And it's killing me. And... I don't know if I really want to live or die at this point. It wouldn't really change a thing either way. It's still going to be alright for everyone. Maybe it'll even be better.

I've decided to go to the library and pick up some books. I'm hoping to find The Heroin Diaries again. One day I will own that book and not have to constantly go back to the library to get it. That book is my pep talk. I know a lot of people don't get how that can be, but it just is. It's like trying to explain why you have a favourite food. It just happens.

I'm also hoping to find Nikki's girlfriend's book, too. If I can't make my own art, and if I can't get another tattoo at the moment, might as well look at stuff about them. Also a bit of a pep talk book if you knew even the smallest bit of Kat Von D's history. So I'm crossing my fingers that they have it... or at least that they can order it for me or something.

I'm thinking of trying to read Slash again. I didn't finish... I don't know why. I barely got anywhere and yet Slash's story is the one I feel I identify with the most of all the rockers I've been interested in. Though... I do want to read Scar Tissue again. I got a little past half but I didn't finish.

I've really got a thing for autobiographies of rockstars. I understand them... And I want their success, too. Seeing how much my life resembles their own, makes me feel like my dream can come true... I can be a rocker, too.

It may be weird... but that's my pep talk. And I desperately need one right now because living people aren't helping much. Kind words are not enough. It takes someone who's gone through the same thing to understand and to give hope. All I've got is my rockstars, so that's where I'm going to go.

I'm just surprised I'm not an addict of anything yet. Maybe that's going to happen soon. We'll have to see.