Girls Night Out... Not Fun!

Last night was nuts.

I went to the bar with two friends. We had fun, but my night... wasn't so fun. I hated my reflection when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I wanted to bawl. I got hit on by a married man (literally... he was in his 30s) and groped and grabbed by males and females alike. Some would consider that a good night, but for me... that was Hell. I never felt so disgusting and ugly as last night.

I could have made a clean swipe at the bar had it not been for wanting to save money. I had 8 drinks. Pffft! Nothing there. Big whoop. One day I'll have to go with 200$ and maybe even on cheap drink night. Woo! I'm only half joking... I AM partially an alcoholic, you know...

But yeah... that was not fun. And then I woke up this morning with the most horrible neck pain ever... not knowing how that could have happened. It was PAINFUL. And it still is, but I can at least move my head side to side, just not front and back. Damn. But maybe by morning it'll be better.

But is it bad that I was wishing all night that this one guy was there, and that he was watching me have fun without him? Yes... I was thinking that a lot. Which is actually the only reason I didn't run out bawling or anything. I was hoping that either he or one of his buddies would see me and would see me having fun without him, and add in all the gropes and grinds and make him see what he was missing out on. Not sure that translated well, lol. Most likely not.

But then... when I left the bar, all I could think was how much fun the night would have been had I been with this one other guy... How I wouldn't have felt shitty... How I would have felt like a million bucks... How I would have appreciated the dancing and the flirtations and whatnot if they all came from him... But it just won't happen. It'll never happen. And that sucks.

I wanted one to be jealous, and another one to be there. Shit! I'm messed, aren't I?!

All in all... a change must be made.
I really need some hairapy.